I don't usually drink beer, but when I do it usually doesn't take much for me to feel the effects of intoxication.

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There were three soap salesmen in a bar. They were comparing how good they were at selling their wares. "I'm so good that I sell 60% of my soap bars each day," says the first salesman, bragging. The second one wasn't to be outdone. "I'm so good that I sell 80% of my soap bars," he declared. The last salesmen, who, up to the moment had been relatively quiet, suddenly said in a calm and collected manner, "Oh that's nothing. I'm so good that I sell all of my soap bars each day."

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Why is the baby not crying? Because it died of herpes. JUST KIDDING! Babies can't get herpes.

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What did Steven Hawkings say as he fell down the stairs? .................

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Women don't have penises. Am I the only one who can't get over how WEIRD that is?!?!?

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What direction do 5 gay guys walk? I am unable to answer that because they are all aspiring to work in different occupational fields.

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Yo mamma is so ugly, but your father was willing to look past that. They fell in love and you were born about a year after they got married.

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Ludwig van Beethoven, John Coltrane, John Lennon, and Justin Bieber are out for lunch at a taco stand. The owner calls the police, and Justin Bieber is arrested for digging up corpses.

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YEAH! LIKE RELLEZ! XD Anyway, sure, it depends, you don't get voted as the most pointless man on Horse-head network without working some for it, but if really weird comments impress you, then sure. Honestly though, I might have been flexing my show off muscles a bit more than usual, as in posting more stupid stuff than usual, BUT, that is because when a MAN meets a sexy WOMAN, yet another one than his WIFE, his already boiling testosterone burns with flames... ...And yeah, where where we again? Oh yeah, you acting a bit bimbo, and me going "RELLEZ" just to make you aware... Then added this.

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the mean terrorist said "i am going to kill your mother" that mother is now dead

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How do you get 100 Jews into a car? You can't. It's physically impossible.

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Why does an ostrich have such a long neck? Because its head is so far from its body.

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why did the black child cry? strange men cut his penis off

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boy and girl are flipping a coin, coin lands on heads, boy: get down bitch

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Why did the baby crawl onto the road? because a sick bastard put a bottle of milk there knowing that a bus would be going through that route soon.

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what did the little boy get for christmas? nothing his parents stuck him in a mental ward to forget about him because he was mentally challenged.

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why did the black man go to jail why he raped your mom

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Why does Michael J. Fox have a good handshake? He has a firm grip

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? She had no arms

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Set a firework off on her face.

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Q: Whats the difference between water melon and a baby? A: Watermelon is a fruit.

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Knock knock! I'm in the shower, i'll be there in 5 minutes

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Your momma's so stupid, she has a lower than average IQ!

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the canadian, the chinese man, and the black guy walk into the at different times and buy different things

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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