what did one mute say to the other? Nothing.

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You: Ask me if I like lasagna. Them: Do you like lasagna? You: No.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Its the pizza man. Get your yellow no good keister off my property before I pump your guts full of lead. 1,2...10

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Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

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why was the white girl not wanting to have a baby with her boyfriend he was black

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A.M.E.V.A.A A-ny M-essage E-xpressed V-ia A-cronym is A-wesome

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whats on object, almost tube like that squirts thick white liquid from the top elmer's glue

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Why couldn't the 13 year old get into the pirate movie? He has cancer and is dying in the hospitable.

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? A Pogo Stick

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A guy walks into a doughnut shop and says "I'll have a small coffee and a doughnut." The shop keeper says, "I'm sorry we ran out of coffee." The guy says, "All right I'll just have coffee than"

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What do you calk a dirty mexican? a hard working gardener.

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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How did the man lose his arm? beacuse of the five year old with a knife obsesion standing right beind you at this minute...

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Q: Why are there no tablets in the jungle? A: The pharmaceutical logistics involved would be enormous and would make very little business sense.

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a woman walks into a bar, she was quickly kicked out and escorted back to the kitchen

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whats black and white and red all over? ...a nun in a blender

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a man dropped a bar of soap in the shower. He immediately picked it up and finished washing himself. He then got dressed and left the gym.

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What did the tramp get for Christmas? Nothing because he's Jewish.

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What do a turtle and an eagle have in common? They can both fly. Except for the turtle.

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Q: Whats the difference between a Jewish man and a pizza? A: Jew's are humans and can feel emotions, as for pizza's can not feel emotions, because they are pizzas.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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Why are watermelons green? 9, because cows like to eat grass.

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Why was 7 afraid of 6? It saw what 6 and 9 do when they're together.

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What song did Buddy the elf sing for Santa on his birthday? Happy birthday

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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