Do you know whats funny? No do you know i was asking a question

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I have a friend named Jay . But for short , he likes to be called J .

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What do you call a person with no eyes, ears, or mouth? Helen Keller

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someone has been eating my cornflakes,oh well cheerios instead.

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why did the koala fall out of the tree? it was dead

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick

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A man walks into a bar. He realizes that he would need a designated driver if he would want to return home safely. So he then leaves.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms.

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Why is mario red? His mother beat him as a child.

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Whats better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt.

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George Lopez never said anything funny in his life.

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What do you call a man who tripped on a rock? A man who tripped on a rock.

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What happened to the child who's mother drank and took drugs while she was pregnant? Dead.

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What's worse than getting murdered? Getting murdered twice? - Louis

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*Dubstep* CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW BWAB BWAB

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Why did the man fall over...he had a stroke!

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Justin Beiber has fame, his own bodyguards, he has performed many shows and has everyone's attention. What do you have? A penis.

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A bar walked into a bar. To get to the other horse.

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Two peanuts are walking down the street. One of them was a salted Peanut

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A black man walks into a bar and orders a shot. He then precedes to drink it.

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Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

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When life gives you lemons......you should be really scared because life shouldnt be giving you anything....espically lemons so if life offers you lemons you better run

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What do you get when a man farts then a giraffe digests the gas and then poops into the mouth of a rabid baby raccoon? A raisin coated in corn flakes with digestive fluid sauce.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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