There once was a man from Nantucket. He lived a long, full life. Outside of Nantucket. But he visited occasionally.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 'Cause you touch yourself at night;

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You: Did u hear the one about that guy walking into a bar? Them: No. You: He said it hurt

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the only way to get across

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Q:Whats not funny? A: Antijokes

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a blind man walks into a wall

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A: Did you know that cashews come from a fruit? B: Not really. This is an interesting fact. Any other facts you have? A: yes ("A" was lying)

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How do you beat a black in sports. "shot him when the game starts"

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What's black and blue and made of poo? A drowning black guy, holding some blue poop

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What has eyes but can't see? Helen Keller. What has ears but can't hear? A field of corn.

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hi jonny

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Q: Why are the Black Eyed Peas named the Black Eyed Peas? A: I don't know ask them yourself.

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What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot.

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Why does the man have mayonaise in his pants? A: I don't know, I was hoping you could tell me.

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What is small, green, lives 10 meters under the ground and eat rocks? The little green rock eater!

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Whats the most impotent thing to remember when your going skateboarding? A skateboard.

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Why did the fat Jew cross the road? To go to the bicycle shop to fix his puncture

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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whats worst then dieng in a videogame

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Whats big and red and eats rocks? A big red rockeater.

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Boy: Hey girl if I had hand-cuffs, I’d lock myself to you right now! Girl: I would find that extremely creepy.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU..

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I need a way to meet local babes and get ripped in 4 weeks. Shame there aren't any popularly advertised methods of doing that around here...

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops