Roses are red violets are red I think I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

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Dad, why do people say mom is a nympho? No idea son, try asking one of your other dads.

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What do you call a girl with ADD and too much free time? Me

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Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon and Micheal Jackson molests little boys.

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good looking women

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What's worse then a missed call from your dad? A missed call from your mom.

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What's the difference between a duck? They are mostly the same, only one leg is shorter.

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What do you call postman pat without a job? Pat.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

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What's big, grey, and can't climb a tree? A car park.

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Knock, knock ... ... ... Well I guess no one is home.

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Q: Why is it so that antijokes often give you a funny answer? A:.... *hayroll* *crickets* Moral: Im the MoranautBitch!

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what did the robot say to the centipede? "Stop being a centipede!" It's funny because the robot doesn't have any arms.

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?"i'm so turned on right now." - horny light bulb

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HEYEEYAHEYAYYAEEAHHAAA

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What happens when you walk around with a kick me sign on your back? you get punched in the face. How are you supposed to know it says kick, you cant see your own back.

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An Asian man walks into a bar and ask the Barman for a beer, the Barman is racist and therefore tells the Asian man to leave his pub. The man goes home and drowns his children in the bath and pushes his wife down the stairs, he is found out by the police and is given a life sentence in jail. 5 years later the Barman kills someone in a bar fight and is also sent to jail for life. The Barman meats the Asian man in prison and they settle there differences with a handshake. Two days later the Barman was stabbed in the neck.

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Q:What happens when a bug walks into a bar A:It gets stepped on

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? Nothing, he doesn't have the ability to open a present.

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A Mayor accidently killed one of the citizens of his town through dangerous driving. He could not be charged with murder, as it was an accident, but there was an uproar, and he was humiliated beyond question and forced out of office straight away. Even his family rejected him, owing to the fact that the unfortunate citizen he struck was his son's girlfriend.

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What did the blind girl say? Its dark in here.

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Q: Whats worse than running out of hot water? A: having wyatt friedman poop on your chest, Hit him up on FB

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Why did the Jewish man bend down to pick up a penny? Because he had dropped it and required the penny as part of his payment for his food.

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children are much like potatoes. when you eat them, they die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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