Knock Knock Who's there? Your friend, George. Oh hi George, I'll be there in a sec.

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What do you call a doctor without a head? Deceased

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Jesse gives his mom the stick for breakfast

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Why do black people make the best milkshakes? because they use the finest ingredients

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What's Hitler's favorite beverage? Soda! Not Juice (jews) you asshat!

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How did the Mexican get into the united States of America? He was an american citizen, just of mexican descent.

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what's the square root of pi? nothing. why would you add roots to pie, how gross.

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what did the turnip say to the plum? nothing, as most fruits and vegetables would've said

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yo mama so stupid i'm fairly certain she has a learning disability.

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Q: What did the guy say to the apple? A: suck me off

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What did the woman say to her abusive husband? You're hurting me.

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An old asian woman is driving down the freeway a drunk driver merges into her lane. Everyone is ok because she keeps a safe distance behind.

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You go on Nero, he got all red, not sure if he is mad or ashamed or both, but we can all tell that man is jealous. Employee.

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quantum physics?

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Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops.

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have you seen stevie wonder's house. no? Well nethier has he you

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Nickelback

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John and Marry wanted an abortion. God just laughed And Jesus was born Merry Christmas everyone!

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Neither have I, nobody knew him.

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"You know what sucks?" "Vaccuumes?" "You know what metaforically sucks?" "Black holes?" "You know what just isn't cool?" "Lava?"

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Y' can't spell rape without ape.

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When life hands you lemons...you should probably get yourself checked out because life is an abstract idea...

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Whats pink red and silver? A baby chewing on reason blades. Whats pink red silver and smells bad? Same baby two weeks later.

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There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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