What happens if you don't stop, drop, and roll? Astigmatism.

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Q: What did the psychopath dream about? A: An insane chimpanzee kicking his head off, or maybe something normal

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Guess who thinks your pretty? Hellen Keller

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What is the difference between a woman and a whale? One has big whiskers and is fat and filthy, the other one lives in the sea and is a mammal

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Why did the Christian man dislike gays? Because Christianity views being gay as a sin, and as a follower of the religion he decided he did not like gays.

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you know why they're called ear wigs, right? cause they go in your ears! then they wig out? no, they kill you.

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Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Does it really matter?

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color blind person solves a rubix cube just kidding thier color blind

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Roes are red, Violets are blue, This poem doesn't rhyme, You're entire family has died. The plane that they were on went down due to a flock of geese getting sucked into the engine. They were visiting you for your twenty fifth birthday and wanted to surprise you. there were no survivors.

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What is the sound of one hand clapping? I don't know you have a hand try it yourself lazy prick.

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What did the bacon say to Sam's eggs? Why are you green?

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a girl got a friend request from a unknown guy. she chated him asking who he was. he replied vamos a tener sexo caliente y vas a pedir mas rapido mas duro! vamos ser estrellos porno. the girl deleted him as a friend B.A.

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What did the bank teller say to Santa Claus? May I help you?

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You ask your friend if they want to hear a joke when they say yes tell them that thought you had a joke

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Two elephants were out flying. Then one elephant said to the other: My grandmother has a pink toothbrush!

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Why did the blonde ask her doctor if she could get a new butt? She is insecure about its appearance and believes reconstructive anus surgery is the only solution.

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School is like a boner. It is long and hard unless your asian.

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roses are red violets are microwaves i have amnesia what ma name iiizzz 'SHAWTAY

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There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

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Whats pink red and silver? A baby chewing on reason blades. Whats pink red silver and smells bad? Same baby two weeks later.

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You know what's worse than finding a worm inside an apple? finding crack, too late to spit it out.

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When life throws you lemons, Throw grenades.

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Q. what did voldemort get for christmas that harry potter didnt? A. dinner with his parents

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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