a man walks into a bar. it was a metal bar. his balls hurt.

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How many babies does it take to paint a barn? It depends on how hard you throw them

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A guy walks into a bar. He meets a girl and they have a great time. He calls her the next day and their relationship continues for many months. Eventually they get married and have children.

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John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. Johnny runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his? hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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Why didn't the policeman stop the bank robbery? He wasn't there

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who is gay wit mon james cornish

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What's the new green? Green

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What came in like a wrecking ball? A wrecking ball.

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Your momma's so fat: She feels uncomfortable in public due to current trends in ideal body shape and aesthetics of beauty.

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What's green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

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Q: What happened to the fat man on the roller coaster A: The roller coaster went slightly faster due to the laws of gravity

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What did one alligator say to the other alligator? Ear

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue.... I hate your guts.

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If there's somethin' strange in your neighborhood Who ya gonna call 911

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How do you make a lumberjack cry? By murdering his family.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Reality TV.

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How do you make a French-man cry? Kill his family.

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, I died because I didn't have a heart.

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what happened when the shoe turned into a shoe.......... nothing, it was a raisin

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What did the black man do when KFC got his order wrong? He gave his receipt to the cashier and kindly asked for the correct meal.

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What did the man who brutally raped and murdered his infant daughter say? He didn't.

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roses are red, violets are blue. sunflowers are yellow, i bet you were expecting something romantic but no this is just gardening facts.

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Why did the tourist cross the road? He was sightseeing.

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why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead. why;d the banana fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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