How are a duck and a bicycle the same? They both have handlebars. Except the duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why did people call the girl a cow? Because she was fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did the cat fall out of the tree? It was tied to the girl. Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He has cerebral palsy.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What is bad at catch The twin towers

thumb_up thumb_down +36

what did the orphan get for Christmas? a family

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why couldn't Spiderman pay his rent? He didn't have enough money.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

why couldnt the mexican jump the fence? He broke his leg.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a porch? Bob

thumb_up thumb_down +30

how do you make a plumber cry? you hit him in the face

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do you call a Muslim woman driving a plane? First, you don't "drive" planes you "fly" them. Second, you should address her as Ma'am, Captain, or Pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

How do you make a clown stop smiling? You kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why are there no more monkeys jumping on the bed? I shot them all.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

what do you get from sleeping with a hooker? An orgasm

thumb_up thumb_down +22

-hey sam look what mom gave me for christmas -what eli? -a new baseball bat -thats your prosthetic leg silly

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Whats the difference between andreas and a dog? the dog has a tail.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why do asians have such thin eyes? Genetics

thumb_up thumb_down +16

WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey!!!" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did Jesus get for Christmas? Birthday presents.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

WHAT DO YOU CALL MEXICANS IN A HOT TUBE BOILED BEANS (; NO RACIAL

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A Horse walks into a bar. So the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The Horse replies "My jockey raped me".

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What part of the cape were you on? Cod.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you get if you cross a mexican with a pineapple? Nothing, they are two different physical forms thus incapable of becoming a new object.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops