HEY YOU! TISSUE!

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I found a lump on my right testicle. So, as a precaution I went to my local hospital to have myself checked out. Thankfully, it wasn't accute testicular cancer. Instead I only had to suffer for a few months, but it's getting better now. Sadly, I won't be able to have children and now my semen has a somewhat unsavoury flavour. Thanks for asking.

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What did the fisherman say to the other fisherman? Were both fishermen

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I just found my mum has Alzheimer's, I hope it isn't contagious cause my mum has it too

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Black Ops? That sounds illegal. Anyway, what do you mean you are a employee only? I mean if you where a fed, you would either be on the top, or be an employee no?

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I have read and agree to the terms of midget sex service - View Terms of Service

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How do chinese name their kids? They drop silverware

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Knock Knock Who's there? Mormens...

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its funny cuz i laughed!

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Why did Jim go to the hospital? To get an autopsy.

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You know those people that learned the true name of God, as God asked kindly... ...Well you know God can be nice sometimes but he actually COMMANDED they keep his name secret forever? They became the first people known as Jehova`s witnesses... JEHOVAH<<< SECRET NAME ANYBODY? So much for keeping his secret name guys! They claim that only a few thousand humans will ascend to heaven, in other words all of the JEHOVA`s witnesses... All two billions of them or something... For keeping his name (Cough JEHOVAH) secret. SUCCESS!

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How did the chicken perform the bank robbery? It was crossing the road and cluelessly walked into a bank, and EVERYONE in that bank had Chickenphobia so they just GAVE him the money...

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What's got four legs but can't move by itself? A chair.

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What do you call a giraffe without a neck? Dead.

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Q: Why is eminem such a good rapper? A: well if you want to know its becuase he had a bad childhood experience and and needed some money so he put hard work and dedication into rapping.

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how come jenny could not fall asleep? their was a man standing outside her window holding a knife

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What's weirder than an asian? His dinner

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Women are only good for seventy-one things: Love A proper home to come home to everyday 69

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What color do you get when you mix aquamarine with magenta? Transvestite.

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What did the Jew say to the Catholic? Nothing. He is a mute you insensitive moron!

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whats worse then a truck full of babies? if it went off a cliff into a canyon full of knives.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was deaf and blind.

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Q. What you call a Guy with no arms an no legs in the water? A. Bob

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George Bush told Jared Fogle that he did 9/11. Jared Fogle replied "I did 9 11 year olds"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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