A lion, a leopard, a sheep, and a flesh eating New Zealand parrot stalk, trot and fly, respectively, into a bar. The parrot lands on the the sheep's back and begins to tear into its flesh in order to reach the succulent deposits of fatty tissue located around the sheep's kidneys. "Ouch!" Said the sheep. "Why would you do that? Oh, the pain! The pain!" "Squak!", Replied the NZ parrot, wiping blood of its sharp, hooked beak on the counter. "I think," Began the lion, "This parrot from New Zealand is hungry for fat from a sheep's soft, woolly back." The sheep's wool was now damp with blood. "Perhaps this parrot from New Zealand wants sheep fat from its soft woolly back." "Ah!" Said the sheep. "This parrot from New Zealand wants sheep fat from my soft woolly back!" "Yes", Replied the lion. "You could also say..." Started the sheep, "That an NZ parro-" The sheep did not finish his sentence. He died from his wounds. The lion left. The parrot flew off to tear up some windshield wipers. And the leopard stashed the sheep carcass in a tree branch for later consumption.

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What did the boy with cancer get for his birthday? Roses on his tombstone.

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What's worse than getting a parking ticket? Getting brutally raped in the anus by the Dark Lord Satan.

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,What would you call Morgan Freeman if he was White? Morgan Freeman

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Im not random you just can't think as fa-bunnies

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guess what What? Apsolutly nothing

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What do you call a Jew picking up a quarter on the street? A very nice man because a homeless man just dropped that and he was trying to return it. Rob W

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whats big and white and falls from the sky\ Refrigerator

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"I see," said the deaf man, to the blind man, who had no ears.

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roses are red violets are blue if you and your sister were hanging from a cliff i'd save your sister

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what is 3+3= 8

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What did the pretty young girl get for her birthday? Cake and presents (get your mind out of the gutter).

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Hey how was your audition?" "yeah really good, I got in...

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What is the proper response when someone says "My family died in a car crash"? Lol fail

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Its about rewriting the laws of the universe and nothing less, yes yes theoretically the subconcious has unlimited potential (or at least potential we humans cannot theoretically comprehend nor define). But what if I can use my consciousness to trick my subconsciousness? What if I use the subconsciousness to trick the consciousness into tricking the subconciousness?

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A white man applies for a job two weeks later he finds out he lost the job to a hardworking Mexican who went to college and payed his debts

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What does the Bill in Bill Clinton stand for? Bilious.

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So, there's a man and a bar. He gets a hacksaw.

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? One. Unless she's particularly short, then she may need to get a friend, who may or may not be blonde, to help by holding the ladder.

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Irish sobriety

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How do you make a mime make noise? Throw a brick at his face

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What's worse than shitting whilst fucking? Losing your eye! Kelvin Yang

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Why did the boy fail his midterm? he didnt study.

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What happened when the chicken crossed the road? It entered a KFC and had the unfortunate suprise of having its head cut off.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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