Q. What is the answer to life the universe and everything A. 42

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why didn't jimmy get to eat his ice cream? Because he got hit by a bus

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Why is the white man sad? Because he watched the titanic

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what did one lady say to another lady we are both ladies

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What's worse than tripping over your shoelace? Watching your mother get her tits cut off with a chainsaw then getting ripped apart and eaten alive by cannibals

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What did the Asian say to the American? herro. rook at me. i have round eye i american!

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You know what happens when you plant a baby into the soil and give it lots of sun and water? It dies.

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Why is purple the best color. Cuz icecream has no bones

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"hey do you know the date" "58"

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there was a turkey sandwhich..... a ham sandwhich.... and a bologna sandwhich..... they had a short conversation before they were eatin by a fat kid

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How do you stop a drunk driver? With a minivan and family of four.

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Q. What happened first The Tree or The Apple. A. Johny Appleseed.

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why is 6 afraid of 7 because seven is black

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There was an elephant , a bird, a man, a tree, a cat, a dog, a lion, a horse, a cow, a pig, a duck, a lemon, a turnip, an apple, a rabbit, a slice of pizza and a spoon. I just wasted around 8 seconds of your life

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Tiger woods is a famous golf player and Santa is a fictional old man dressed in red and white who is said to live in Lapland, have an airborne sleigh driven by eight magical reindeer and come down the chimney to fill childrens' stockings on Christmas eve.

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What did the priest say to the young boy? Hi.

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta pudding god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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Why did the man cry? Because his mom died in a terrible car accident.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, i get tired of this shit let's have some grey goose

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you know whats worse than being cold? being colder

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What Do Yu Call 2 gay guys? Tyquan And Dnautica

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What did the homosexual community have last night? A protest for gay rights.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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