Q: What did the forgetful person say to the other? A:

thumb_up thumb_down +3

An IRS agent named Harold Crick finds that he has the ability to hear a narrator comment on every moment of his life. He later becomes institutionalized in the Schizophrenic ward.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Today i saw 2 midgets walking.........now there hanging together.....in a tree.....by there necks,,,,...............I f***n hate midgets

thumb_up thumb_down +3

You wanna hear a joke? Your dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man is traveling to the nearest grocery store. He stops at an intersection and notices a another car beside him. It was a black corvet. So he blew it up and the men inside of it as well. He then proceeded to call the cops as to try to cover the explosion up as if it was not his fault. Unfortunately, the police had video evidence of the incident through video surveillance and the man was arrested for life. He never got a second chance in life and eventually died a slow, painful death in the hands of cancer at the age of 91.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Yo Mama is like a gas station:pump and pay.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What was the last thing the boy heard before he was hit by the school bus? Nothing. He was deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you tickle a tree? you dont you are a schizo stop kicking leaves

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Is maynaise an instrument?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are Red And sometimes yellow My mother is mellow I have terminal cancer. I also fisted my grandpa's anus last night

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock Knock Jehovah's witnesses!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock knock. who's there? your dead cat, here you go.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you cure cancer? do i look like NASA?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chicken cross the road? It escaped.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A mans wife gets pregnant after he has a visectomy... She was artificially inseminated using sperm he froze before the operation

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way. ernkso

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I have tuberculosis because Ebola is too mainstream.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is rainbow-colored, makes no sounds, and smells like a banana? A rainbow-colored banana

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Hush, little baby, don't say a word, Mama's going to buy you a mockingbird. If that mockingbird won't sing, Mama's going to buy you a another mockingbird.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is the opposite of a joke ? Racism

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Want to hear a joke? Obama

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops