A man walks into a haunted house and screams. He had arrows on a nail.

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Have you ever treat woman like sandwich? Elephant and walrus said Jews are troubles. If six plus nine is five, chickens will eat you, saturdays.

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A guy went to a girl asked if she wanted to have sex with him. She said yes and they promptly had sex.

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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is this the krusty krab? no, this is patrick.

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Three tomatoes were walking down the street, a daddy, a mummy and a baby and...wait did I say tomatoes, sorry, I meant people.

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How do you kill batman? you stab him through the heart

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You know what the stupidest country in the world is? Equatorial Guinea

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Why do Asian men love noodles? Noodles are delicious!

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Why did the fat kid rob a pizza shop? Because he happened to like pizza.

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So, two black guys walk into a bar... And they pay their tab and couldn't have been more courteous

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Actually a better question would be, why is the chicken near a road in the first place?

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Your momma's so fat, that her doctor recommends that she exercises regularly and sticks to a healthier diet that includes foods with nutritional value.

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baloney sandwich

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Who is the fastest kid in AA? Alex Solomos

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SEX

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HELP!!! I locked myself in my bathroom and can't get out! my laptop is running out of batteries!

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whats red and looks like a bucket? a red bucket.

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What do an onion and a hamster have in common? They are both in my Grandma's omelette.

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What is black and hanging from the tree in my back yard? A tire Swing.

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hahahahahah http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?q=sonny+bartlett&hl=en&sa=X&tbm=isch&tbnid=s37cS73V74A8YM:&imgrefurl=http://www.youtube.com/channel/UCASl7llFhDpTF8vwjDlGI_g/videos&docid=kJoLzGiYRM-2AM&itg=1&imgurl=https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-si7_hCcHI7E/AAAAAAAAAAI/AAAAAAAAAAA/HzlEl3ilyyM/s55-c-k/photo.jpg&w=55&h=55&ei=GrgsUZ_kJqac0AWExIC4BQ&zoom=1&biw=1024&bih=616&iact=rc&dur=188&sig=111947294788926856610&page=1&tbnh=55&tbnw=55&start=0&ndsp=20&ved=1t:429,r:9,s:0,i:109&tx=27&ty=11

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This blind man read my mind the other day. I swear, it's like he has a 5th sense!

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Why did the war end? Because one country surrendered. They were getting beat pretty bad, it seemed like the only viable option.

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Ten years ago we had Steve Jobs, Bob Hope and Johnny Cash ... now we have no Jobs, no Hope and no Cash.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops