What's worse than 13 babies stapled to one tree? One baby stapled to 13 trees...

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I insist, you go ahead. See you around. how about in four six hours?

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What do you call it when a blonde jumps off the Empire State Building without a parachute? Suicide.

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Why did the man die? Supercalifragilisticexpialidosious

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What do you call a black man who works in a ice-cream truck? A Ice-Creem Man

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A man walks into bar carrying a nondescript glass bottle of beer. The bartender speaks up in a harsh tone "We don't allow outside drink here buddy! If you're drinking here, you're buying it from here! The man replies, "Oh I'm sorry, it's just that this isn't a normal beer. Every time you take a swig from it, you are granted one wish!" The bartender, who is at this point getting visibly irritated, "I ain't got no time for fairy tales. Screw off!" The man seemingly unfazed by this anger tells him, "I'm not any kind of liar. I have three sips left. You can have them if you want." The bartender snatches the bottle with his unwashed hands from the man. "Fine" he says gruffly "I'll drink your magic beer." He thinks for a brief minute and says to himself, "I wish I had an expensive sports car." and takes a drink from the bottle. No later then a second later, a Ferrari pulls up into the driveway. It is a sleek and dark red color. It was of the latest model and did not have a single scratch whatsoever. The bartender's eyes pop wide open in astonishment and he quickly makes his second wish, "I wish I had a beautiful girlfriend!". And he took another drink. No later than five seconds, A leggy 5'7 blonde bombshell steps out of the entrance. She dons a short white skirt, Long red stiletto heels and a jet black spaghetti strap top. The bartender starts to sweat and looks a little nervous. "And my final wi-EUGHAAAHGGHHH!" The bartender collapses from the floor drooling from the mouth. It turns out that the liquor he was drinking was 180-proof alcohol that his old liver could not take. The blonde woman steps back and lets out a disgusting shriek. "Ewww, this old ugly hobo just ODed on the floor. Can we go somewhere else for drinks Jeremy?" Her boyfriend replies, "Yeah good idea babe. This place looks a trash heap anyway. You deserve better." The couple do not hesitate in stepping into their sleek red Ferrari and driving off. The man who had given the bartender the beer proceeded to check the dead man's pockets and rob it of all of it's contents. Nobody ever caught the man, and not a single person in the bar cared enough about the bartender to call 911. Moral of the story: Magic does not exist and life sucks.

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What do you call the offspring of a gerbil and a hamster? Whatever you want.

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a man checks his mypsace

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What did the man say when he found out he had cancer? Nothing. He was so in shock, that he later died from another type of cancer.

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If Chuck Norris were to be hit by a train he would die

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why was the teenage girl crying? She was molested as a child

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What did the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing

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An under aged girl walks into a bar. She couldn't have done so without a fake ID and early development.

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What did a Blond do in the Desert? She got lost after Falling of a flying carpet

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Roses are reb, Violets are dlue, Forgive my spelling, I'm byslexic.

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What did the west African get for his birthday? Ebola

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia So do I

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Joker: Knock knock Batman: Who's there Joker: Not your parents

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Why 't the blonde dial 911? Because phones haven't had dials on them for at least 40 years or so. She can however punch it in on her keypad.

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I like it it the butt -Tyler James Nehring call me 863-670-1547

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A man died in a sky-diving accident. What was the last thing that went through his mind before he died? His feet

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Yo momma is so fat, that after boarding an airplane the flight crew respectfully asked her to deboard, as with her on board the plane would be exceeding the reccomended weight, and thus be unable to fly safely.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a Buddhist monk walk into a bar. A heated religious debate ensues in which everyone is uncomfortable and leaves questioning their own faith and fearing the unknown.

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What do black people eat? What everyone else does!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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