I like my women like bacon. Greasy and full of wrinkels

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Its about rewriting the laws of the universe and nothing less, yes yes theoretically the subconcious has unlimited potential (or at least potential we humans cannot theoretically comprehend nor define). But what if I can use my consciousness to trick my subconsciousness? What if I use the subconsciousness to trick the consciousness into tricking the subconciousness?

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Whats invisable and smells like a apple? An invisable apple

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What did the orphan do on Mother's Day? He went to the cemetery

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? Kindly reject the offer and give it back to life.

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What's long and black The unemployment line

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what is black and blue and hates sex? the ten year old in my trunk.

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What did the boy reading a book do? He finished the book and took it back to library.

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Q: what is green and looks like grass. A: fake grass

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why did the blond sop at a red light? because it was red.

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Whats funnier than 1 dead baby? 2 Dead babies

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Q: Why did Katie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock, Knock Who's There? Not Katie.

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A family walks into a talent agent's office. They do a cute family-friendly performance that they call "The Aristocrats."

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"This is Jesus Christ to Tim Tebow. Please leave me alone. Don't you know that my day off, is Sunday?"

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My mind is like full of holes so I cannot remember where I am anymore, and I am tired in addition, but say, what the hell is a tussle? Sounds cute, but what is that?

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Why does Michael J. Fox always have his martinis shaken? He thinks they taste better that way.

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What did the Dildo say to the banana? Nothing, unless you're high on acid.

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Huh? Whats wrong? Why are you mad at me for? Its my name, it has always been so.

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What's funny about Antijokes.com? Everything

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99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer, take one down pass it around, 98 bottles of beer on the wall. 10 minutes into the song one man succumbs to alcohol poisoning.

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Guy gets new car. TRANFORMER!

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what did the McDonald's cashier say to the fat man ordering a large chocolate milkshake? you want some fries with that shake?

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Roses are red, My name is Dave, This joke is pointless, microwave.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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