If Life gives you melons, then I think your dislexic

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A man walks into a bar. The ceiling was ringed with dozens of TV’s, much like your average sports bar. Unlike your average sports bar however, the TV’s were not featuring athletic competition. That is unless you consider vigorous and explicit gay sex between men hung like Tijuana mules to be a sport.

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A whole family go to a water park. They have a great day.

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Q. What do you call a bear ripping a man to pieces? A. A bear.

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a mexican is walking through the desert with no food or water, and no clothes. he'll probably die soon.

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whats worse then justin beiber NOTHING

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist.

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Why did the kid want money? So he could buy pokemon cards.

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Andrew Wang getting a girlfriend.

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women's rights

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roses are red, Violets are blue, i have a gun, Suck my dick

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What's gay and gay? Joe

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Why was the girl crying at the dance? Someone shot her.

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what is the biggest lie in the universe? -click to enter only if you are 18

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how do you torched helen Keller? put her Ina round room and tell her the bathroom is around the corner

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In the future... "Hey Apple! Hey, hey Apple!" "What the heck, Orange! You've been doing this for the last 10 billion years!"

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Roses are red Violets are blue

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The Theory of Relativity, proposed by the Jewish physicist Albert Einstein (1879-1955) in the early part of the 20th century, is one of the most significant scientific advances of our time. Although the concept of relativity was not introduced by Einstein, his major contribution was the recognition that the speed of light in a vacuum is constant and an absolute physical boundary for motion. This does not have a major impact on a person's day-to-day life since we travel at speeds much slower than light speed. For objects travelling near light speed, however, the theory of relativity states that objects will move slower and shorten in length from the point of view of an observer on Earth. Einstein also derived the famous equation, E = mc2, which reveals the equivalence of mass and energy. When Einstein applied his theory to gravitational fields, he derived the "curved space-time continuum" which depicts the dimensions of space and time as a two-dimensional surface where massive objects create valleys and dips in the surface. This aspect of relativity explained the phenomena of light bending around the sun, predicted black holes as well as the Cosmic Microwave Background Radiation (CMB) -- a discovery rendering fundamental anomalies in the classic Steady-State hypothesis. For his work on relativity, the photoelectric effect and blackbody radiation, Einstein received the Nobel Prize in 1921.

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Why did the baby stop crying? Mommy shook him.

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why did the chef go to jail? because he was caught beating an egg

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Female Athletics

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What's worse that finding a worm in your apple? Finding 2 worms in your apple.

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What do you call a man with a black head, a red body, white arms and yellow legs? To get to the other side.

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Whats worse then nailing ten babies to a tree? Nailing one dead baby to ten trees.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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