What happens when you cut Chuck Norris? He bleeds

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He than orders some drinks.

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A kid is riding down the street when his chain pops off his bicycle. The kid yells "God damn!" as he begins to fix it. A priest walking nearby overhears the boy taking god's name in vein and says "Don't say 'God damn' say 'God help us'". The kid says, "I am an atheist, get away from me".

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What did the Hindenburg say? -nothing it just blew up

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"I see" said the blind man to his dead wife

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Q. how many Americans does it take to screw in a light-bulb? A. usually it only takes one, but if the ladders is unsteady he might need one or two friends to help hold the ladder

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Why did the cheeseburger have seeds on its buns? Because it wasn't a taco.

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What do you call a Mexican worked with a sweaty singlet? A Wetback

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17 people are eating doritos in a cafeteria. Then, one gets up and throws their bag away. Then the joke ended. Haha it actually didn't.

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why did the man walk into the metal pole? because hes blind and suffers from cancer.

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Women's rights.

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How do you wake Lady GaGa up? set her alarm for a reasonable hour.

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What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big red rock-eater.

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What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot, you racist.

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why did the goose lay an egg? because it was pregnant .

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Q: How many vaginas does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Just one.

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shoe and shoelace. one is meaningless without the other

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Why did the black guy not have friends He was socialy awkward

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Whats worse than a pile of dead babies? A live one at the bottom.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Somebody elses cheese.

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Why did Michael Jackson like 24 year olds? Because they are apart of humanity and he had no reason to dislike them.

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What's cooler than ice ? Liquid oxygen.

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Dont drink and drive. You might spill some.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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