How did the old man climb the hill? He didn't.

What do you call a pencil made entirely of steel? I dont know, i dont name my pencils.

Why couldn't johnny go home? Someone commited arsen and burned it down.

A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

why did the shark cross the road It didn't its a shark

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Why did the priest molest the small boy? Because he can.

How do you kill a blonde? well there are several way's in which to kill another human being, infact, the point that she is blonde is rather irrelevant.

Walk in to a room and sing "if you're deaf and you know it, clap your hands!"

What does a Jewish man do when he sees a new car? Doesn't buy it because he puts his money in a fund.

What do you give an obese person with diabetes? Insulin.

A man and a talking elephant in a waist coat go to a party. The party is actually an intervention for the man because he's on drugs and is ruing his life. The elephant is not real.

Knock knock. Who's there? Get in the van, or I'll kill you.

The AIDS patient was gay

Today, I had intercourse with a teddy bear

What did the boy with no arms get for christmas? Prosthetic arms.

Why couldn't the kid go into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-13 and he was only 11!

if a black man, a Chinese man, and an Indian were about to jump off the Eiffel tower, who would hit the ground first? who cares?

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

Why did the pirate say to the donkey? Rrrrrrrrrrr you a donkey?

I like my girls like my wisky. Strong, tastes and the leading cause of liver damage.

Why did the black man fall asleep? because he was tired.

What's big? Jupiter.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape the horrors of factory farming.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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