how do you drown a blonde? chain her to a cinder block and throw her off a bridge.

thumb_up thumb_down -95

One day a girl comes home crying to her father. Father, Father! She says, a boy i met touched my shoulder! Like this? Her father says and touches her shoulder. Yes just like that, a bad part was that he kissed me on my lips! Like this? her father says and kisses her on the lips. Yes just like that but the WORST thing was he stuck his you know what into my you know where. Like this? Her father says as he sticks his you know what into her you know where. Yes just like that father but he had AIDS! ......( Awkward silence)..... oh shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +146

I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +126

minorities

thumb_up thumb_down +56

What's worse then finding out that your partner has AIDS? I don't know actually, but finding out would suck pretty bad...

thumb_up thumb_down +52

What is bright yellow and tastes like Gatorade? Antifreeze

thumb_up thumb_down +44

The joke below me is retarded

thumb_up thumb_down +40

So an asian man gets into a car... and drives home on the highway driving at the approximate speed of the designated speed limit while exhibiting safe driving maneuvers. He arrives home to his wife and kids and sits down for a nice dinner while having a engaging conversation about the political future of the United States and his favorite football team.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What did Shakespeare say to the software designer? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What is worse than a worm in your apple? The holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What's the diffrence between a pizza and a black man. One is human being while the other is an inanimate food source.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Knock Knock. Ow! Why you hit me!?

thumb_up thumb_down +32

I'm funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why was the black guy good at basketball? He practiced hard everyday.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

what did the jewish man say to the christian man on the first day of hannukah? i like basketball

thumb_up thumb_down +24

a man walks into a bar and dies

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's longer - 'an african american phallus' or 'a micronesian sphincter'? 'An african american phallus has' 24 letters as opposed to 'a micronesian sphincter' at 21 letters, so it is longer.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: What do you get when you cross and owl with a bungie cord? A: My ass

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A horse walked into a bar, broke its leg and its owner then had to put it down because it was a racing horse and the owner did not have enough money to bring the horse back to health. Fuck you.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q - Want to hear a joke? A - Me Too.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How did the kid drop his ice cream cone? Ans. He got hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did Oscar masturbate? He was on life support?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops