What did the doctor say to his dying patient? Shit happens.

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what did the beaver so to the rattle snake? snap your bagles

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Where did John go? Refrigerator

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Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

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What do u call fear of Chuck Norris? Logical

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Q:Which side of a chicken has more feathers? A:The outside.

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You and your wife walk into a bar, you both order a drink and celebrate your good health.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? People posting the same joke over and over again.

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Why do black people love menthol? Nobody knows.

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Put it in the microwave

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Knock, knock Who's there? Who. Who who? ... Who?

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Two black guys walk into a bank They work there.

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Why did the casual smoker have terrible teeth? He very rarely brushed them.

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Joey and Haley have sex; what does he say to her the next morning? Happy 6th birthday daughter.

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What do you call a Muslim woman driving a plane? First, you don't "drive" planes you "fly" them. Second, you should address her as Ma'am, Captain, or Pilot.

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a guy walks into a bar. unexpectedly, a terrorist walks in and shoots him in the head. After lots of therapy he can now go back to his average life.

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What was Michael Jackson doing at the Dermatologist's office? He was getting a mole on his back examined to be sure it wasn't cancer.

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why was the vampire sad? his last victim had aids.

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If Dwayne the Rock Johnson was short who would he look like? Dwayne the Rock Johnson.

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Scenario: 2 people are in a desert. There is only 1 bottle of water left to drink. Who drinks it? Neither of them, they drink the gallon bottle of gatorade instead.

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A black kid, an Asian kid, and a Jewish kid walk into a barrier. They are students at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and they walk straight through the barrier onto Platform 9 3/4.

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What's worst than losing a million dollars? Losing a plane. Whats worst than losing a plane? losing 239 people, a plane and a million dollars

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What do you call a really bad actor? Nicholas Cage

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What did the racist guy say at the baseball game? I am at a baseball game.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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