What's a good joke? Not this one.

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Roast Beef is a solid and Pea Soup is a liquid

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Your mamma used to be fat till Slim Fast came out with dick flavor!

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"I see." said the blind man to his deaf son.

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What's red, crunchy, and hard to chew. A brick.

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Why did the bus driver tell the black man to get to the back of the bus? Because all the seats up front were full and its dangerous to stand in a moving vehicle

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Q: What's the worst part about having sex with a cougar? A: Dying...

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Maybe we simply need to keep the door open, but one cannot bring happiness to others, until one is happy oneself. Do I change something within you Red?

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Three men are stranded in a small rowboat. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. It became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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Patrick, I just thought of something funnier than 24. Lemme hear it. 25.

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Why was little David sad? His father got hit by a truck.

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A man walked into a bar. He got a concussion and couldn't see strait for days.

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What is worse than getting shot in the leg? Getting shot in the head.

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A horse walks into a bar. The Barman asks "why the long face?" The horse says "My son was recently killed in a horrific horse racing accident"

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Why did the blonde die? She was slurped up by a 1,000 foot anteater.

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How come Susie fell off of the swing? -because I hit her with an axe Coolhsoj

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What did the penguin do in the desert? Die.

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Why did the boy lick the window? He had Down's syndrome

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He was at Victoria's Secret and he wasn't watching where he was going.

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Did you hear about the black kid that had a gun? Yeah, it's a.20 gage that his father bought him for Christmas so that he could go hunting together

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A white guy, a black guy, an asian guy, an indian sit together. Canada

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What do airplanes and trees not have in common?? Bananas

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What's the difference between a tree and a lamp? One is a tree, one is a lamp.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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