Cannot tell, national security. As far as I care we are friends, therefore I cannot continue chatting with you for a while, its gonna seem pretty damn suspicious, I wont be repeating myself. Except again, do not worry, we will take care of this, and if not, I will contact you, you are not in any danger for the mean being, whoever are against us are looking for "Nero", not you, and I am pretty damn safe. By the way, I never lost an eye, but your "wiz" revealed himself by sharing that information, that part was the only ploy as far as I care, and it was necessary for everybody`s survival. Do not worry friend, I will call you sometime, but I recommend we stay off touch for at least 3 months, and that you stop using this site.

What did the pitcher say to the batter who hit the ball very far? Wow, you hit that ball very far.

Knock knock. Who's there? The Police. Your family is dead...

what taste like an apple, looks like an apple, but isnt an apple? an apple.

An Irish man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and notices he has a steering wheel stuck down the front of his pants. "Hey," he says, "What's with the steering wheel down your pants?" The Irish man looks down at it, dumbfounded. "I have absolutely no idea," he says, and removes it.

why did the Mexican make a burrito for his grandma? it's her favorite food and she has artheritis and its to painful for her to stand long enough to make one herself.

Girl:Do you wanna hear a joke? Boy:Sure... Girl: jesus loves you

Knock knock Who's there? Cow Cow who? If you really think about it, it's really now

the holocaust

What do you call a 3 legged dog on a red unicycle? An unlikely set of circumstances.

Please ignore this statement.

Robin get in the batmobile!

Q: What did Bobby get for his first birthday ? A: Adoption papers

whats something naked and nailed to a cross? jesus, idiot.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock (who's there?) Not Sally.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

What did i say to the stupid person? Your Stupid.

Found out the difference between onions and men. I don't cry when I'm chopping up men.

Knock Knock. Who's There? I have cancer.

Why didn't the teenager go to high school? He was murdered

What do you call a black police officer? The drug dealer's inside man.

Why is the world going to end on 9 December 2014? I don't know why, but IT IS

Why did Johnny play piano with one hand? Because he lost his other one in a mining accident when he was 10. Johnny lives in rural Perú so he had to support his 6 younger brothers and sisters by working in a child factory.

what draws the line between sex and rape? a pen

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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