Knock knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness

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If the blue man lives in the blue house, and the yellow man lives in the yellow house, who lives in the white house? The blue man. He has made a good living with a high salary and has enough money to afford two houses.

Three Jews get on a train to Stockholm. How many get off at Stockholm. None. The train went straight to Auschwitz.

There was a boy named Steven, a son of a rich business man. Steven was an interesting child though, as he always kept care to one of his possessions. That possession being a plain, old, brown box. On Steven's fourth birthday his father said he could have anything in the world he wanted, just name it. Steven said he wanted two quarters to put in his box. The father agreed and gave his son two quarters to put in his box. Every year the father would say he could have anything he wished for, and Steven just asked for two quarters. Nothing more. On Steven's 18th birthday he got into a severe car crash. The father stood over the hospital bed where Steven lay. "I can get you the best doctors in the world. They can save you, please let me get you this for your birthday!" The boy shook his head. "All I want is two quarters" Steven replied. The father was distraught. "Son, tell me why you've wanted these two quarters every year you have been alive instead of anything else in the world". The boy complied. "Fine I'll tell you." Then Steven died before he could tell the father. The End.

Why did I lose a card game to a cat? Cause he was a cheetah!

What's red and bad for your teeth? A Brick

What's the difference between a convertible and a dead baby? One's in my garage, and one's a car.

A white man, a black man and an asian walked into a bar. They got a drink and discussed multiple issues of the day and then went their seperate ways home.

Freddie Mercury died of AIDS. Many consider him a musical hero.

What's brown and sticky? Poop.

A black man goes outside to shoot some hoops. He misses all of them because not all blacks are good at basketball.

Your Mother is so ugly that men tend to avoid her.

How many Jews can fit in a Volkswagen beetle? Four, although five is possible if you are not afraid of getting a ticket.

What did the orange say to the lemon? "Hello"

What did the dead man say to God? I'm dead.

Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

I'm black and I will beat your children At checkers, they can have red

Why did Paul let Johnny choke to death? Because Paul had no arms.

You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't rob a bank! That's a felony. ;)

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay the manufacturers suggested retail price.

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Whatever their names happen to be.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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