Q: On a plane, a black man does not grab a bag of peanuts, while everyone else does. Why? A: He has allergies.

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If Billy has 4 apples in his left hand and 6 apples in his right hand, what does he have? Very large hands.

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Whats worst than the holocaust? What? 6million Jews.

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Why did the cow cross the road? The slaughter yard was on the other side!

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What did Osama say before he was shot? Nothing, it was a surprise attack.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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Rose are red, Violets are blue Your cat is dead Turkey

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Q. Why did the teacher trip and fall? A. Because his left foot was gnawed off by a camel, and he often finds it difficult to walk.

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whats worse than someone on the phone during a movie? your mother queefing on your bowl of cheerios

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Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she is legally blind

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What happens when u poke a ghost that is standing on the edge of a building? Ghost aren't real so therefor u will fall of the edge and die

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What did one cow say to the other cow? Moo

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A plane filled with English tourists is on it's way from Holland to Spain. It crashes in France. Where are the surviors buried? Survivors aren't buried.

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Why was the baby crying? Because it was on fire.

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Slavery.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? The eventual extinction of humanity, followed by the death of the universe.

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what do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet? last years hide and go seek champion

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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full house should of been called black jack, because the Olsen twins started getting hit on at age 8 and didn't stop til they were 21

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What do you get when you cross a cheetah and a zebra? A dead zebra.

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Why did the the dog not eat its food? Because the night before the dog had gotten serious disease and lost appetite

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A man walks in to a bar. He gets a cuncussion and his heath insurance isn't enough to cover his physical therapy. He dies poor and alone.

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Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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