Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I didn't use protection So here's your baby

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair... Fuzzy Wuzzy has cancer

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Sticks and stones may break my bones because I have osteoporosis

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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whats purple and not a rapist barney, I lied about the rapist part

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A wise man once said, "I am wise".

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: No one knows, he was a chicken, and was not capable of human speech, so he never told anyone.

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A doctor tells a guy: "I have bad news. You have Alzheimer's, and you have cancer." Guy says, "Thank God I don't have cancer."

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Friends are like balloons When you stab them they die.

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Why'd the guy fall off the building? I pushed him

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Q: Why did the boy fall of the swing? A: He had no arms.

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Whats the best day of the week? Sponge

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It thought they were playing follow the leader. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? It had no arms. Why did the little girl fall off her tricycle? She was hit by three monkeys and a refrigerator.

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A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

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A Chinese man, a Mexican man and an African man walk into an American bar. None of them know any English and can not order a drink. They walk out promptly, frustrated by the difficulties of living in a strange new world where they don't speak the native language.

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What's brown and smells like shit? Shit.

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Why didnt the homeless man eat the cheese? Because he died right before he ate it. :-(

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What's white and red all over? A white guy who walked in the ghetto.

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How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans.

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Have you seen the clown hiding from gay people at walmart?

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When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

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rabbits running in my bathroom!

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knock knock

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Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be severely mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops