What do you call a lot of goose in one place? geese

Hi... your father has testicular cancer and he will die in 2 months....

Hickory Dickory Dock, Three mice ran up the clock, the clock struck 1, and the other 2 escaped with minor injuries

Why didnt the guy knok on the door Because the door was open to begin with

Have you ever had a traditional Ethiopian Dinner? Neither have they.

Why did the black man sleep all day? He suffered from narcolepsy.

What did Goldilocks ask the Three Bears? Nothing, bears are aggressive mammals and killed her before she could speak.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

What came first? The chicken or the egg? The egg, because breakfast comes before dinner.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot lost control of the plane.

Why did the jewish family move? Their house burnt down. They lost everything and was tragic

What's worse than rotten eggs? Being dead.

What did the fat kid eat for dinner? Salad, he's on a diet.

Why was the boy sad? Because his pet bird couldn't fly. Why couldn't the bird fly? Because it was dead.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

What did the caninibol do when he duped his girlfriend He wiped

A man walks into a coffee shop and buys a bookshelf.

A black man walks down a high street and sees a white woman approaching. He bids her good day and they carry on their respective journeys. He then turns around and follows the white woman and rapes her in a dark alleyway, because as we all know, all black men are rapists.

do you know what happened to the bravest warrior in the battle who got stabbed in the foot while trying to rescue puppies from a burning building and dying children? well he took the children and puppies home, and ate them. then the SWAT came in and killed him. so yeah... oh... suck my a s s barf

Q: Why couldn't the ginger play soul music ? A: He couldn't hit the right notes

Why did Dan fall of his bicycle? Because somebody threw a refrigerator at him.

Jellybeans

Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

Three men were on a plane. One chucked an apple out the window. Unfortunately, due to the low pressure outside, all the men were sucked out the window.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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