My favorite color is Ham. And I can count to Potato.

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haha

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Why did the man eat the cat? I don't remember the punchline, but trust me it was hilarious.

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diarrhea.

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Where do cows get cultured? They don't, they get slaughtered first.

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Two penguins, sitting in a bath tub. One says, "Pass the soap!" The other says, "What do you think I am?! A clock?"

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Q: what is the most confusing day in the ghetto? A: fathers Day

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god."

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If you have 5 bucks and Chuck Norris has 5 buck you both have 5 bucks

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Obama being re-elected

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What would the Swatch be called if it was made by a Croatian company? A Crwatch.

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What's the difference between a pile of rotting shit about to be re-heated in the microwave and Kevin James's new movie "The Zookeeper" ... Nothing.

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kk

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Why doesn't Andy wanna bend over to puck something up? That's how he got assraped!

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Yo mama is so fat she lost 100 pounds and now she's not fat.

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What do you call a orphan with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean? Scrood

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why did the kitten not eat its food? because its face was stapled to the floor.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Well, one must question: 1. How much the electrician knows when it comes to screwing in lightbulbs. 2. The amount of electricians present at the scene. 3. The type of equipment being used in the process. 4. The physical and mental stability of the electrician. The situation is solely dependent on the above factors.

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Yogurt? You are joking right? I am having yogurt right now, do you like see trough me or something? I mean I have been told people can do that but no way!

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How many electricians does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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Well I do want it to end now but...WHAT? How did you get that trough? I thought hypnosis was supposed to increase awareness and focus.

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Only in your math books can Carlos buy 14 cantaloupes without hus sanity being questioned.

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What's the difference between a black man and a Ginger? Their pigmentation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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