A man walks into a bar and pulls out a tiny piano and a 12 inch pianist, which is really just his member with a smiley face drawn on it. Somebody calls the police muttering, "What is this world coming to?"

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Why did the Chinese family eat a dog? Because they were poor and starving refugees.

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What happened when a star exploded? It killed billions of other sentient beings.

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A russian, a mexican, and an american are all sitting in a tavern. The russian ordered vodka, the mexican orders tequila, and the american orders a beer. When the waiter arrives, the russian throws his vodka into the air, shoots it, and says "we got too many of those in our country". The mexican tosses up his tequila and says "we got too many of those in our country". The american throws up his beer, shoots the mexican, and says "we got too many of those in our country". And then drinks his beer.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender, upon seeing him, asks him to leave. The black man is enraged by the blatant racism shown by this man, and proceeds to punch the bartender repeatedly. After 5 minutes of non-stop punching the man stops, looks at his victim, and is filled with remorse. He is dead. Upon looking around, the black man notices scaffolding and building equipment scattered around the room. He falls to the ground as he realizes the bar is still under construction, and unable to serve customers this early in development. The bartender was simply asking the man to leave for his own safety.

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What did the boy say to his father? I don't know. With the seemingly infinite number of topics that two people could discuss and the fact that both the father and son are fictional, it would be unreasonable and border edge mentally unstable for me to assume that you would know what they may or may not be talking about.

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The other day I went into the bathroom to take a poo, It was Glorious I flushed the toilet and everything.

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Q: What do you say when you see your T.V. floating at night? A: That's so frickin awesome

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how do you remove a black man from a car? Wash the bumper

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Roses are red violets are blue What the heck do flowers Have to do with You?

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Why did the little boy fall down the stairs? I pushed 'em.

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if you can read this you dont' need glasses

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Robin, get in the car!

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Michael Vick walks into a pet shop. He buys a puppy and cares for it lovingly

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Guy: I have a penis growing out of my crotch. Girl: Hah, sucks to be you! Guy: Yeah.

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knock knock whos there? steve oh hi steve please come in

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because I hit her with an axe.

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My mother in law fell down a wishing well, i was amazed, i never new they actually worked

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Knock knock? Whose there? Colin Come in

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I heard that the Boston marathon was a BLAST!

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yo mamma's so fat, when she jumped into the ocean, everyone yelled "tsunami!".

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? Nothing

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Q: If 2+2=Fish, then what does 3+3=? A: 6.

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a cancer patient walks into a bar and has a stroke

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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