dead dibbs

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A man and a women are having sex. He farted so she left before he came.

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My favorite color is Ham. And I can count to Potato.

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Why did the man eat the cat? I don't remember the punchline, but trust me it was hilarious.

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haha

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why do muslims always turn to their left? Because they don't have their rights.

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They see me trollin' They hatin'...

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Why did the angry kid press the button? The button said "press here angry kid"

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Two penguins, sitting in a bath tub. One says, "Pass the soap!" The other says, "What do you think I am?! A clock?"

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Roses are red my name is dave this poem makes no bloody sense microwave

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diarrhea.

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What did Selena Gomez say to JB? We're breaking up cuz u smell like French fries and you look like a poop

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Where do cows get cultured? They don't, they get slaughtered first.

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What is white and square? A ping pong block

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Q: what is the most confusing day in the ghetto? A: fathers Day

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god."

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Obama being re-elected

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If you have 5 bucks and Chuck Norris has 5 buck you both have 5 bucks

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What would the Swatch be called if it was made by a Croatian company? A Crwatch.

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kk

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What's the difference between a pile of rotting shit about to be re-heated in the microwave and Kevin James's new movie "The Zookeeper" ... Nothing.

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Why didn't the Country club waiter enjoy iced tea? He's simply always had a preference for warm beverages. He assumes this goes back to his infant days when his mother would massage his belly with warm porridge.

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What do you call a orphan with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean? Scrood

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Yo mama is so fat she lost 100 pounds and now she's not fat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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