Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

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How did Bob survive the plane crash? He didn't

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Skeletons can't move.

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what do you call an animal thats black and white and red all over? an elephant

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Why did Susie drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus. Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie.

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What happened after Will Ferrell took a dump? He wiped his ass and flushed.

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my egg roll

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what did Stan say to Dave? nothing, Dave died 500 years before Stan was born, thus he said nothing.

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What do you call a person who is deaf. It doesn't matter, they wont be able to hear it when you call them.

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What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

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what does I.C.T mean when a teacher says it it means I cant teach

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A antijoke? The "new and better" Duke Nukem. "Power armor is for poossies! My ego is going to... ARGH! Both my arms are blown away... well Duke Nukem is too awesome! He uses his legs..ARGH MY LEGS! Well Duke Nukem is dead... but his ego will keep the remains of his corpse fighting aliens! Yeah ego!" Nukem: I got balls of fail...

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Swag.

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womens rights

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Wooooah! Thats literally the sound I made, anyway, can you like type the entire story in one setting, I feel weird, did you just try to hypnotize me? Anyway, are you trying to, woah, I am like high now...

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A german police officer sees a Rabbi. Nothing happens, it's 2011

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The word you are looking for is charm, not seduction, I am above such things, and while I have no reason whatsoever to believe either one of us can gain anything from going "eye for an eye", I am sure I can offer whatever financial and even specialized assistance you might require in order to get that eye of yours seeing clearer than before... Worry not, I shall outlaw the name Nero and all the derivations and similarities from my Order, unless someone named Nero actually happens to come by of course...

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Why would you kill a black man? Well, murderers have different motives, the most common of these are revenge or a psychological illness.

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What two Mexicans call a stray cat? Gato

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Why are black people afraid of chainsaws? Because chainsaws are potentially dangerous weapons that may inflict bodily harm.

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Why did Lisa fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. *Knock knock! Who's there? *Definitely not Lisa.

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how does hitler drink soup ? with a spoon

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Why did the chicken cross the street? K

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Is your refridgerator running? good, because if it wasn't then your food would spoil.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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