Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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Man 1: Did you hear that one about that girl who killed herself? Man 2: No Man 3: Yeah, neither did I

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Roses are red Violets are blue. most poems rhyme but this one doesn't!

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Why couldn't the morbidly obese man get on a cruise ship? He didn't have a ticket.

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A man walks into a bar, politely orders one drink, sips it while having social conversations with his peers, pays his tab, and goes to take the bus home. I can respect that.

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what's the difference between an abortion clinic and my basement? there are more dead fetuses in my basement

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Why did Hitler kill six million Jews? Why not?

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Why did Mary fall off the swings? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock, Whos there, Not Mary

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A man walks into a bar. He is a diabetic and promptly goes into a coma after drinking.

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What peels, is a fruit, yellow and tastes like a bannana? A bannana.

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless he's a witch doctor, then you'll need an apple and some ayaheusca. The fractal dream will destroy time and space as consciousness returns upon itself at times end

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How does Ron Weasley greet Harry in the morning? Mornin' Horry, how did ghe' sleep?

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Mila Kunis is fugly. Said no one ever.

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Last night I had a lovely chicken burger I had no mayo left so had to make do with coleslaw but enjoyed it anyway.

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What do you call a man who has a camera? a cameraman

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What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing because apples can't talk.

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"Really, how is your wife?" "You know she's dead right?" "Cool mine too!" They high five in mid air and lived happily ever after

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Man: Did it hurt? Woman: huh? Man: Did it hurt when i killed your family?

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what did the lesbian do with the other lesbian? played badminton

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Why did Hitler kill six million Jews? Why not? --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Q

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An old man walks into a bar. He suffered greater injury than a younger man due to his advanced age and deteriorating health. But he did eventually recover by strictly adhering to his doctor's advice of bed rest, improved diet, and increased, yet moderate, aerobic exercise.

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What do you call a Mexican kicking a ball? A soccer player

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Two men walk into a bar, get drunk, and drive home. Unfortunately, they crash into a tree and are mortally wounded.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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