What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Roses are dead Violets are too Were all gonna die So are you.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill. But it was winter and they froze to death

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why did the skeleton cross the road ? because it wanted too. lolz

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Why Did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him

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why did little johnny start choking? because somebody shoved a bag down his throat

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Bryson got a concussion...he died

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your brother so fine that hes skinney

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Q. What is worse than a worm in your apple? A. Hitler

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? wanna go ride bikes?

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I don't know about the rest of you, but I HATE funerals.

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little miss muffit sat on her tuffit eating her curds and weigh along came a spider and sat down beside her and said hey whats in the bowl?

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how did the fat man survive the plane crash? he didn't, he died like everyone else.

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What's better than a stick? A stone

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420

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What did the deaf girl get for Christmas? Nothing, she was Jewish

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Have you seen Steve Wonder's house? No. It's okay, neither has he.

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I bought one of those anti-bullying wristbands, when they first came out. Well, I say bought. I actually stole it from a short, fat ginger kid.

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knock knock Who's there Rick Rick who Your wife's boss she got into an on the job accident and will never walk again... I'm sorry but your insurance doesn't cover the injury.

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What starts with F and ends with U-C-K? Firetruck

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What did the blonde say to the other blonde? "Hey, do you want to get something to eat?"

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Why did the woman scream when she saw the mouse? Because she's afraid of technology.

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Why did the man laugh as he sat in the electric chair? He was being tickled by the guard.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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