Man #1: What was the hardest part about watching that kid get hit by that bus? Man #2: My dick...

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The global news

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roses are black, violets are black, im dead.

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What is red and green and goes round and round? A frog in a blender!

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The once was a man from Nantucket, Who gave up on his life and said "damn this!" Then he won lots of money, His future looked bright and sunshiny Until one day he suddenly died

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What do you get when you cross a child and jt Rape

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Knock knock! Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? To get to the other side!

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Ed Milliband knows what's best for the UK.

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A black guy and a jew walk into a country club, within minutes, they are told to leave and never come back in order to avoid being contaminated by the radioactive waste left by a landfill company cutting corners in safety regulations

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A hobo said to another hobo "Im homeless"

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A White, Black, Hispanic, and an Asian man are stranded on a deserted island. They become best friends, proving race should not be a divisive factor in any community.

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How do you enter a gas station? Through the front door

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. The man apologizes, and the bra assures him not to worry. They both continue on their way. The man wonders what a bra is doing walking around unattached to a woman, especially this late at night.

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Why did the black man drown? Because he didn't wait 30 minutes after eating.

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One time there was a girl in a wheelchair and she couldn't walk.

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Q: Whats the difference between a table and a Mexican? A: You tell me.

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What's the difference between ?2 and and 74^3? ?-405242.585786

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Why did the dog lick the boy's leg? Cause when the boy blew up his leg landed in the doghouse

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Why did the genie not grant the man his 3 wishes? Genies don't exist, only vampires live in lamps.

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Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

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sally has no arms knock knock who's there not sally

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One night a man layed on his bed and looked into the skies, then he realizes: WHERE THE HELL IS MY CEILING!?!?!

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A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer walk into a bar. They order some drinks, sit quietly and stare at their shoes until they've finished their drinks, then go back home and wallow in loneliness, wishing their social skills weren't so abysmal.

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What do you call a burger made from children with Aspbergers? Cannibalism

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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