What does Mitt Romney approve of flip flops? They feel good on his feet.

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What did the Goldfish say to the Black man? Nothing, because Goldfish do not have human-like vocal cords and therefore the Goldfish cannot speak.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because I took a swing at it with a golf club.

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Your mother is so retarded. How retarded is she? Very retarded.

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Angus is so Scottish he wears a kilt when it is socially appropriate.

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Q: Whats the difference between a trash can full of dead babies, and a porch? A: A porch isnt in my garage.

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If I told you I was straight I'd be lying

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How can you tell if your blind date is going to be good looking? Go on the date and see if they're good looking.

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Fuck off, seriously, if your name is Tifa, my name is bah, I got better things to do.

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How do you know when your sister's on her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood

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Knock Knock Who's there? a tree

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What do you call a doctor without a head? Deceased

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Jackie Chan walks into a bar.

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Knock Knock. Who´s there? Tsu Tsu who? TSUNAMI!!!!!!!

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What's old and wrinkly? old people

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Q.what semtemce is a most used lie by a fourteen year old? A. Yes i agree to the terms of service, and am above the age eighteen.

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What do you call two Japanese men digging through rubble? Worried family members of missing relatives due to the recent devastating tragedy in the island nation of Japan.

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What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs waterskiing? Skip

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(A man goes to visit his neighbor) Knock! Knock! ...................... ................... ................ ............ he walks back home

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So you are a giggler huh? You ticklish too? Anyway, you ever watched Deathnote? I was gonna ask something kinda important but it disappeared, so you tell me stuff first. Oh, my parents? Well, they where nice and sweet, but lets talk about something cruel and horrible. (If you switch up nice and sweet with cruel and horrible and the opposite, you will get the picture I am trying to pain here) What makes me so much more interesting huh? And why are you afraid you may look like an Alien? HEEEEEY! I am a legal citizen and I am not freaking Mexican!

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Why did the little boy cry? Because he stuck his finger into a blender

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what's the difference between you and a yack one is a spitting idiot and the other one is a camel

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I saw GESUS and SHE's BLACK

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I'm typing this one handed... ... Because I'm an amputee.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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