Roses are red, violets are blue, I am white and I like cold food

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A chicken crossed the road and the farmer said, "Where the hell is that chicken going!?"

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A blind man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at the man for a moment, then asks : - Excuse me, sir. Are you blind ? And the blind man says : - Yes.

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There was a man posting an anti-joke... He had no life

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism. "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "I already asked ''Banana who?'' Is that your real name? Who is this really?" "Knock Knock." "You are upsetting me. I am calling the police now. Please get off my property."

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Wanna hear a joke? Too bad.

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What do you call a blonde in a library? Lost

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But officer, I did come to a full stop!

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your mom is so fat she is at high risk of a future heart attack and should be taken to a cardiologist

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What did Ed Gein get at McDonalds? The corpse of a worker he killed by the dumpster and hauled back to his shack to hang up and gut like a deer.

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Why do gingers smell so bad? So the blind can hate them too

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How do you kill Osama Bin Laden? Get The Navy Seals To Infiltrate his compound.

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Why should you never shower with a pokemon? Pokemon is a game for children. In doing so you would greatly disturb your child who is quite fond of pokemon

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What's brown and sticky? Vomit.

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What do you call a million pigs jumping out of an aircraft? Bacon.

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Knock Knock The guy opens the door

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What did Jesus say when he walked on water? I'm drowning

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What did the dinosaur say to the centipede? It's funny cause the dinosaur is big and the centipede is small.

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Women's Rights

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What is the difference between a fridge? I'm sorry, I have a severe mental disability and telling jokes is not... F'tang F'tang Zoop Pong Wii!

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Man: What is the meaning of life? God: Buffalo wings. Lots and lots of buffalo wings.

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Why was the blonde confused? Because someone was dressed in a chicken costume throwing pinecones at her.

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Dave: Knock, knock Steven: Come in.

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Knock Knock Who's there??? Your mom

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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