What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede!

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Why is it funny when dogs talk ? Answer: they don't

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Why did the man have an extremely large nose? It just so happens that both his father and mother had large noses as well and nature took it's course.

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Blonde: Where's the ice? Asian: In the freezer.

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Roses are red violets are red bushes are red oh shit my garden is on fire

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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What's worse than having cancer? Two people having cancer

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A- Knock knock. B- Who's there? A- The interrupting doctor. B- The interrupt- A- You have cancer.

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Why did the man have square fingers? Because he has Apert Syndrome

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Why did litltle Susie drop her ice cream? She got hit by a bus Knock knock Who's there Not Susie

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he wanted to impress his wife.

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When Chuck Norris realized that there was a more superior being than himself. What did he say? Suck it Safka

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hi

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Why did suzy get in the car? She wanted to go somewhere.

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So, a Hispanic, Jewish, Asian man are on a plane. The pilot turns to them and says "Aren't you tired of this?"

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what do the parents of a starved family do? kill their kids chop them up into little pieces and eat them.

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Q: how do u make a fireman cry? A: set his wife on fire

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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There was once a man named Larry. Larry was an office worker for a paper company. One day when Larry was counting papers he got a papercut on his left hand. Therefore his finger began to bleed as he sat in agony. What did Larry do next? He got up and got a band-aid. Larry continued his paper work at his desk.

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What red and goes up and down? A tomato in an elevator.

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How many Ringmasters does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They tell the clowns to do it

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A mexican, Japanese, and American man are eating lunch one day at work by the window. The Mexican says, "Wow! If I get a taco one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The Japanese man says, "Wow! If I get a bowl or ramen one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The American says" If I get grilled cheese one more time, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The next day, the mexican jumped off because he got a taco. Then, the japanese man jumped off for getting ramen. Then, the American jumped off for getting a grilled cheese sandwhich. At the funeral, the mexican wife said, "Oh if i knew he was gonna jump, I would'nt have packed it." The japanese wife said, "If I knew he was gonna jump, I wouldn't have packed it either." The American wife didn't say anything because she was hit by a bus.

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why did the woman leave her husband? after years of mental and physical abuse she has decided to remove herself from the situation

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Roses are Red grass is greener every time i think of you i touch my weiner

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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