What do you get when you cross Michael Jackson? A collision, if Michael Jackson were alive.

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One,two,skip a few... five,six,seven,eight...(and so on ad infinitum)

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Why did the man die? He was old.

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Obesity runs in your family. To bad no one runs in your family.

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a man was hired for a job. he made a lot of money and was able to support his family.

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Q:What do you find in the middle of a pile of dead babies? A:Another dead baby!

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Why didn't Josh go to school? On his way to school, a majestic flying homeless man hit him in the head with a sea cucumber.

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Why did the platypus have no friends? Platipi are antisocial creatures by nature.

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Anonymous. Anonymous who? Exactly.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a telephone booth? Mmm, strange question for my HSC maths exam...

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What do an owl and a squirrel have in common? They can both fly! Except for the squirrel.

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A man was feeling sick and decided to go and see a doctor. He saw the doctor and then went home. He wasn't feeling any better so he decided to get checked-out by the doctor.

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knock knock whos there micheal jackson too soon

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Why did the two children go sledding? Because they liked to sled.

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Why is Megan Fox so hot? Because the air conditioning broke.

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Women, "Did just pinch my ass!?" Man, "Yes." Women, "Oh, alright then."

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Q. What is the difference between Jesus and and a picture of Jesus? A. It takes one nail to hang the picture Not trying to offend anyone just a joke to be clear

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Why couldn't little sally swim? Because she had weights on her ankles.

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Aww, I knew you where a sweetheart at the core Nerochan, I mean I look up towards people that don't give a jack about what others think but I am not as good at it as you are. Now can you please spam that away like really quickly now?

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Q: Why did Suzie fall out the swings? A: She had no arms. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Suzie.....

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Did you hear about the circus fire? Yes, apparently there were no casualties but all their props and equipment were destroyed, which will set the company back financially, even with the insurance.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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What did the guy say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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