"What did one Chinese say to each other" "I don't speak chinese.......!"

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whats the difference between a phone and Helen Keller? you listen to the phone and you smash Helen Keller on the head with a spiked baseball bat

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A moose walks into a grocery store. He goes over to a cashier and says, "On what aisle are the potates?" The cashier replies, "Aisle 4." The moose went to aisle 4 AND THERE WERE NO POTATOES!

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If your dying how would you avoid getting eaten alive by sharks or rip to shreds by a T-Rex? Fall on a sword

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What did the Asian man say when he got a math problem wrong? Damn it

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why do people take pictures in the bathroom? because they just got done taking a crap and they wanna see if they lost weight.

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What does a cow do at McDonald's? He is eaten by obese people.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was kind of by chance that it crossed the road and what is the big deal lots of animals cross the road. For example possums, squirrels, deer, raccoons, cats, dogs, rabbits do pretty often too it's weird because sometimes more rabbits cross the road on Easter I don't know if that's just me though, chipmunks, bears, over in Africa probably tigers and lions cross those roads.

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Yo momma is so fat, her total body volume is slightly larger than a normally proportioned person of smaller mass!

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Do you know why this joke isn't funny. It's punchline is bad.

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A jew walks into a bar and asked for 5 shots the bartender replies to him "did you and your wife have a fight" "yeah now shes atheist"

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What do an eagle and a mole have in common? They both fly, except for the mole.

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This will be the least popular anti-joke. Dislike this joke.

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Listen Nero, you are the only one I suspect right now, how do you know all of this? Why should I believe you?!

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If you give a man a fish, he'll eat it.

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A black man walks into a store with a gun. It is a gun store and he needs to buy amunition after using all of his to fend of a home invader, and protect his family. He lives in a bad area because he never went to college and cannot get a well paying job in this economy, so he can't afford to buy a house in a better area He then used the gun to rob a bank. He no longer lives in a poor area

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Your parents are dead, and so will you.

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Why are there cookie's in the jar? 'Cause I put cookies in the jar

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I walked across a lake once. Someone said "JESUS CHRIST!" to which I replied with "YES?"

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Roses are red, violets are violet. I'm not stupid.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your window is open I'm watching you

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Why was the baby crying? Because it was on fire.

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Why are black people so fast? They probably practice.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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