what's harder than dodging bullets? dodging rain

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Why are elephants big, grey and wrinkled? Beacause if they where small, white and smooth, they would be an aspirin!!!

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Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says "MOOOOO!". The other makes an unremarkably similar noise.

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What's sad about a house on fire?, it was my house.

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Your mother." "Your mother who?" "Really?"

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Actually it couldn't even walk because of all the hormones they injected into it in order to genetically enhance it's size and flavor.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have to go to the bathroom...

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How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. Midgets are capable of doing an average person's everyday task. Unless they have autism, then they might as well die.

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What is purple after you stroke it a lot? An eggplant

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Whats round, hard, and full of seaman? Well in the context I'm using it in, a submarine, but too the inappropriate mind when spoken out loud, could be registered as the homophone of seaman, semen, which would then lead you too think of male genitalia.

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Why did the black man fall asleep? because he was tired.

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A guy walks into a bar, orders a beer, pays, and leaves.

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Your mommas so poor she can't afford food for her child. Thats you.

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Why did the orange have to wear a tie to the party? Because Rodric the Pear suggested it.

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What do u call a guy that loves the color blue? A smurf

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Why did the vegetarian only work one day? Because her co-workers are cannibals.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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Why did the pilot crash the plane? It was a tomato.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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i have cancer

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hey i just met you and this is crazy but hears my number so call me maby .....7 days

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What's bad for your teeth? A brick

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how many babies does it take to paint a wall red? depends on how hard you throw em

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Who killed Lincoln Nobody knows

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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