How do you put an elephant in a refridgerator? Go to your local zoo with a shotgun, shoot to kill, load elephant in Uhaul, drive home, remove elephant from Uhaul, sharpen your ax, put on mask to pevent excessive blood on face, begin to chop elephant into small chunks, put the chunks into ziplock bags, call a friend to help you move bags into refridgerator, and move bags into refridgerator. Once all the bags are in the refridgerator, dismiss your friend, get in car, and drive to mexico because killing an elephant is not legal and the police will be there soon. Now as for the giraffe...

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Did you hear about the two guys that stole a calender? They each got six months.

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Q: How do you starve a Black family? A: By not giving any Food.

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WHY DONT WE HAVE BOTH?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was a busy highway it was hit before making it to halfway.

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I like touching my boobs

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Next up, Sharpi and Ryan take their audition faliure very seriously in "columbine high school musical"

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What is worse than the holocaust. A worm in MY apple!

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My grandmother's zodiac sign was cancer, and she was killed by a giant crab.

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Why does the Taliban forbid people from having sex standing up? It might lead to dancing. And then, of course, death.

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Potatoes have skin. I have skin. Therefore, I am a potato.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive Umm, She's dead

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The only positive thing in my life, is the HIV test! Lymmel

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Q: what did the grandmother give to her grandson. A: a lightbulb

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What do you call an Asian man without any clothes on? -naked

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Fish don't run.

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Rosees are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia and I do too

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There was a girl who had a dream of becoming a famous movie star. So, after five years of hard work and dedication, she didn't become a famous movie star. Dreams don't always come true. Refrigerators keep things cold.

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"Ask me if I'm a tea pot" "Are you a tea pot?" "No" Try this on your friends

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what did the cop say to the robber... freeze bitch hope you like prison food and penis

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Here's a joke The Holocaust.

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Bob Saget

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Justin Bieber's gay!! My butt is sexier!(;

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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