Roses are red Violets are blue... Violets are not blue they are actually purple

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knock knock who's there? the police, we have a warrant for your arrest.

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What did the taxi friver say to the man? "You forgot your briefcase"

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Ian Watkins was excited to attend the opening of the children's ward at the hospital today. It went well and the day was a success.

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Whats the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? NBA players make more, have more fans, and play a real sport.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree Because it died

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What happens when you get hit in the face? You get hurt.

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whats the best part about ebola? nothing ebola is a dangerous virus

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Mogok Papiti.

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why did the woman leave her husband? after years of mental and physical abuse she has decided to remove herself from the situation

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No soup for you!

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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What is you problem!? Im retarded, what is your problem?

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How do you put an elephant in a refridgerator? Go to your local zoo with a shotgun, shoot to kill, load elephant in Uhaul, drive home, remove elephant from Uhaul, sharpen your ax, put on mask to pevent excessive blood on face, begin to chop elephant into small chunks, put the chunks into ziplock bags, call a friend to help you move bags into refridgerator, and move bags into refridgerator. Once all the bags are in the refridgerator, dismiss your friend, get in car, and drive to mexico because killing an elephant is not legal and the police will be there soon. Now as for the giraffe...

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Did you hear about the two guys that stole a calender? They each got six months.

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Q: How do you starve a Black family? A: By not giving any Food.

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WHY DONT WE HAVE BOTH?

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What is worse than the holocaust. A worm in MY apple!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was a busy highway it was hit before making it to halfway.

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Next up, Sharpi and Ryan take their audition faliure very seriously in "columbine high school musical"

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I like touching my boobs

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Why can't Helen Keller drive Umm, She's dead

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Potatoes have skin. I have skin. Therefore, I am a potato.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops