My wife has terminal cancer.

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What did the small baby faucet say to the daddy faucet? Nothing, they are inanimate objects and cannot talk.

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What do you call a black man in a suit? A lawyer.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he met Larry.

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Why did the Booger cross the road? because He was getting picked on....

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What has tomato Sauce And came from italy? Pizza

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Why do Jews hate hitler? They are jealous of him.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident, your entire family is dead.

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You might be redneck if you are... Indian

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the Long face" The horse then storms out of the bar, wondering why every bartender must ask him that.

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What do you call a black man jumping out of a plane? A skydiver

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A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender immediately tells him to leave as they don't allow pets.

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What do you get if you put a black man in the blender and then in the microwave ? ... I don't know, that's why I'm asking.

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What do dead babies and trash both have in common? They're both in my dumpster.

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Whats round, hard, and full of seaman? Well in the context I'm using it in, a submarine, but too the inappropriate mind when spoken out loud, could be registered as the homophone of seaman, semen, which would then lead you too think of male genitalia.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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I went to a magic show and the magician asked for my watch... He took the watch and then produced a doughnut... Guess what was in the doughnut? JAM!

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One of them you crack open with a sledgehammer and feast upon, and the other is a dead baby.

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Why? Because racecar.

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Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Brian. Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Why wouldnt NASA send a blackman into space without a space suit? Because space is a vacuum there is no air no atmosphere the tempurature is almost zero kelvin so if you ever go out int space please dont take off your helmet out there because you would freeze to death almost instantaniously.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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