What floats in the toilet and looks like a log? A log.

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What did the waffle say when the black guy started eating him? Nothing, because waffles are inanimate objects and therefore cannot talk.

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Knock knock stop knocking you idiot, it's the 21st century

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How do you know if elephants are watching a movie? If a Volkswagen Beetle is parked outside the movie house.

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Why did the boy lose the race? Because he is morbidly obese.

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Knock, knock -The door's open.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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What looks like a horse, but smells and has feathers? A dead horse with a pidgeon in its ass.

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Why did Jimmy lay down? Because he was tired

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Nothing, he died.

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Q: What did the 6 year old cancer patient say he wanted to be when he was older? A: Doesn't matter he died

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what did rishi say to jess ? GOOD ONE

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What's a bench painted red white and blue all over? An American BENCH.

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Nothing. He made it home safely.

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Why did it rain happiness? The people who wrote the jokes above and below this one exploded.

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What did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur? I don't know, dinosaurs have been extinct for 200 million years.

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Roeses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, My Name Is Dave, Microwave

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Q: Why are elephants afraid of mice and/or rats? A: Elephants tend to have bad eyesight and startle quite easily?

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Your mother is so fat that she has a very big butt and large breasts, which is quite attractive to some men, especially if they are open-minded.

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What did Jesus say when he walked on water? I'm drowning

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Who would win, Chuck Norris or a T-Rex? The T-Rex, Chuck Norris would get ripped apart like any other human-being.

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You cant spell chorus with out... Vagina!

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What do you call a muslim flying a plane? A pilot. WOW your racist!

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What's the difference between tiger woods and Santa clause? Tiger woods is a thug

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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