one day there was an ugly barnicle. he was SSSOOO ugly that everyone died the end -patrick

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Jack just got his new yellow bicycle. His dad got it for his 12th anniversary. Jack was ecstatic to ride it down his street for the first time. He immediately called his friends Paul and Erick and went for his first ride. The neighbors were in AWE when they saw Jack taking off on his new ride. That day the three friends had one of the best day of their young lives, they went up to the lake, had some peanut ice cream and made fun of Alexia. Jack was in love with his new bike and euphoric that they were reunited and did all their favorite things with an incredible amount of passion. Erick hated his new bike.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

There was once a man who lived in a box.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A black man walks into a bank with a gun. He then clocks in and takes duty because he is a security guard at the bank.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

If you throw a violist and a soprano off a cliff, which one would hit the ground first? Who cares?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why is this anti-joke here? Because someone submitted it to this website.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's the hardest part of rollerblading? Telling your dad you're gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what did one barstool say to the other what theres a butt on me

thumb_up thumb_down -3

You know what makes jokes funny? Irony You know what makes anti-jokes funny? Common sense

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A guy says to a palm reader "You look like you've seen a ghost. Palm reader replies "You've got cum on your hand."

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Knock Knock the door's open, come in

thumb_up thumb_down -3

FUCK THE JEWS

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because there were no cars in the way.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Ben has 3 apples and Charlie has 2 apples, how many carrots can fit in my anus? Banana, because cows have 4 legs

thumb_up thumb_down -3

The foreskin of a baby gorilla

thumb_up thumb_down -3

why did the dog cross the street? because it saw a squirrel

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Doctor! I have no problems at all! So, uh why are you here? Isnt that freaking weird? Wow, that might be a problem! Puh! I have a problem then. Yeah, goodbye!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what did the african man have for breakfast? Ebola cereal.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Did you hear about the one about the man who walked into the library? He likes reading

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How did the marines cross the minefield safely at night? Under a full moon

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What would kill a Muslim if they were to ingest it? Arsenic

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops