Q: Whats black and green and goes 100 mph? A: A black and white car going 100 mph.

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I didn't use protection So here's your baby

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How do you stop a black man from drowning? Take your fott off his head.

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What's the difference between a ginger and a brick? Bricks get laid

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I'm not sure, but the farmer must be very upset about the loss of one of his chickens.

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- I got kicked out of the library today. - why? - because I put the women's rights book in the fiction section

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why do woman love the twilight books? i have no idea woman can't read

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A man says hello to his best friend in the morning like he always does. Why did his best friend not reply? The mans best friend is not real and is actually a figment of the mans imagination because he has been suffering from a severe case of schizophrenia his whole life and has many imaginary friends.

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Why wasn't the little boy allowed to get a dog? Because the orphanage he lives at doesn't allow dogs.

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why did the baby start crying? because he was very hungry and hadn't been feed all day

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Why did the Fly die? Cause it died the average life span is 30 days.

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Charlie Sheen Walks Into a Rehab Center.....

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What did Han Solo say to Chewy before they got in the Millennium Falcon? Chewy, get in the ship.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's white and sticky? A stick painted white.

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Why was Rodney afraid of Chung Lee? Because Chung Lee is an intimidating person, capable of literally ripping your face off.

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Want to hear a joke? Women's rights.

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What's the similarities between a spoon and a duck. Both are not a lamp

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Why can't Larry drive? Larry's a rock.

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A man walks into a coffee shop and buys a bookshelf.

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Why did Sally drop her Ice Cream Cone? Because her dog licked her butthole.

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what word starts with 'p' and ends in 'orn'? popcorn you sickos

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why did the boat crash? a tomato was driving

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why has kallum just changed clothes to speak to a counsellor because he's socially awkward and has no peers

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Jimmy: I'm like hey, what's up, hello. Jon: I've already met you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops