what did the brick say to the other brick? hello. the guy next to the bricks was shocked and went home and killed his wife then later higherd an indian man to give him a lapdance.

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What did the ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved

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What is covered in red and has two legs? Half a cat.

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A Penguin walk into a bar and asks "Have you seen my brother?" And the bartender replies "What does he look like?"

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Whats green and has wheels? A green car.

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Roses are red Violets are blu Doogie is gay I have no friends

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What is colored and looks good hanging from trees? Oranges. Get your mind out of the gutter!

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Why did the pregnant Mexican cross the border? Nobody knows. She was shot down on site.

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I got shot in the balls now i'm pregnant?

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What do you call a white guy sitting on a bench? The NBA.

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The global news

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What's up? Well it all depends on your current position, if you are in the center of the Earth then everything would be up. In space there is no gravity so nothing is up. If you don't understand this the sky is up.

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How often do you remember a dream? Well what if I told you that this is a dream go ahead pinch your arm. You probably didn't feel pain. And just incase jump out a fifth story window. Come on do it. Now if you are still reading this you are either dreaming or didn't jump out the window. Shame on you!!!!!!

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Rape

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What's worse than a mentally retarded boy screaming in your ear while your sitting in the waiting room at the doctors? 2 retarded boys screaming in your ears while your sitting in the waiting room at the doctors.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, I have amnesia.

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What happened to the lady living in the present, crossing a street? Let's watch her and find out.

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Hey Skrillex! Can you do me a favor and hold this bass for me? Sure thing, no problem. 3 seconds later... Oops! My bad! I just dropped it.

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the midget went to the midget store

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Why did little Susie fall off the cliff? I pushed her.

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's the police, mam. We need to speak to you about your son Robert. It's the police, mam. We need to speak to you about your son Robert who? Mam, he was in an accident. Could you open the door please?

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Dear Rubix Cube, DONE!! Sincerely, Colorblind

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What's more sad then a dumpster full of dead babies? The live one at the bottom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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