Yo Momma is so fat she is at risk of contracting Type 2 Diabetes.

I was watching Fox news.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse responds "I have cancer"

What does a kid with no arms and legs get for christman.... Cancer...

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a PS3? Michael was a succesful dancer, singer-songwriter, musician, and philanthropist, whereas a PS3 is a games console.

why was the woman in the kitchen? because societal standards placed her in such a situation

A guy walks into a bar with a Donkey and a jar full of pennies. He walks up to the bartender and orders ten shots of whiskey. He was found dead the next morning from erotic asphyxiation.

What did Hitler say to the black jew? Get to the back of the oven

why do ducks have webbed feet? to stomp out fires. why do elephants have flat feet? to stomp out the burining ducks.

What's the difference between a Jew and an apple? One of them is a fruit, and the other is not.

jim is constantly asking bob the same questions, bob brings this to attention and suggests that jim might have amnesia. jim agrees and they move on iwth the conversation. minutes later jim asks a simaler question brought to attention earlier because he has amnesia

Q: What did the newborn dumpster baby say to the raccoon? A: Nothing. Newborn babies cannot talk.

-Your momma is so ugly, she wasnt a model. -Am I supposed to be caring?

what did Charlie Sheen say after he won a game of chess? I just won a game of chess!

what happened to the little kid on a bicycle? Nothing

Did you hear the one about the spoon and the dis running away while the cow jumped over the moon, IMPOSSIBLE! eating material such as the spoon and dish are inanimate objects, and cows cant jump for they weigh from 600 to 1000 lbs.

why was the stone green? I dont know thats why im asking -_-

"Doctor, Doctor, Help I feel like a pair of curtains" "I've got some cream for that".

I am iron man 24 flavors in my van i am the icecream man i have met jackie chan

What did the blind pole vaulter say to the speed skater? Hi, how are you?

What did the whale do when he was angry? He beached himself, causing a major ecological disaster and costing the beach community thousands of dollars to return him to the water.

Hey, you must be a parking ticket. Because you are on the windshield of my car.

What did Juliet tell Romeo before they kissed? Kiss me Romeo

what is the ??? crust^2 + Cool Whip

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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