Q: What is black and white, black and white, black and white? A: A Nun falling down the stairs.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.. A: Knock Knock B: Who's there? A: Not Sally

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Whats black, white, and red all over? a dead panda.

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Q: What would have been the easiest way to stop the second world war without killing anyone? A: Paid Hitler for his art.

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Q: Whats the difference between a Jew and a Boy-scout A: Boy-scouts come back from camp

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Your garden's on fire.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? extremely unfortunate...

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What did the five fingers say to the face? Nothing. Fingers cannot talk.

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You: Ask me if I like lasagna. Them: Do you like lasagna? You: No.

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What did the genie say to the man that rubbed the magic lamp? Nothing, genies don't exist.

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Yesterday I told a chemistry joke. There was no reaction.

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Q. What goes 100 mph and is green? A. A frog in a blender

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What is the difference between a dog and pile of dead babies? One of them is alive.

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Where did the cow go? To the slaughter house!!!

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I knew a little girl once. She was ate before she was seven.

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What do you call a black guy with a white guy name? Bradley

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What's worse then running out of toilet paper? Getting shot

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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed? She got kicked in the face by a mule.

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how much did the asian man pay for his operation? nothing. he's dead.

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These are some questions you should never ask on a first date: When you wipe do you throw your toilet tissue in the toilet or on a trash can? Do you smell your hands after you wipe? Do you you ever look down when you take a dump and see it come out? Have you ever picked your butt and then picked your nose with the same finger?

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Why did the man tell the other man to shut up? The other man said something that made the man who said shut up mad so he told the man to shut up.

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Who lives in a pineaplle under the sea? Nobody but bacteria that will slowly eat your stomach.

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What did the transvestite say to the hypochondriac? "Ever been to Toledo?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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