How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask him to lower the volume a bit and maybe also play a quieter tune.

roses are violets red is blue i like doughnuts doughnuts are good

why did annie fall of the swing? she had no arms.. knock knock who's there? not annie.

Q: What's black and white and rape kids? A: Pandas, I lied about the rape.

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why did the roof cave in? It was not structurally sound do to poor architecture

Roses are blue Violets are buckets this poem makes no sense Washing machines

How do you pick up girls in Auschwitz? With a dustpan

Bob: Your mama's so fat, she rolled over four quarters and made a dollar! Todd: YOur mama's so fat, here's a picture of her tied up in my basement. Todd wins the insult war.

What did the old Hispanic man say to the young black woman in the Laundromat? I don't know cause I goofed in school and didn't pay attention in spanish class.

Taxes are like prostitutes. The higher your salary, the more you pay.

Why is Andrew sleeping? Because he took and overdose on sleeping pills, he probably died in his sleep.

why is six afraid of seven? because seven is black

Why did Jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms. Knock-knock Who's there? Not Jimmy

Say the line below all very fast to get sudden strange sensation... Magic-ish. I like to find threes and peel of their... BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK... ...BARKBARK BARK BARK BARK BARK! Done? Now sit Down, have a little treat Good boy/girl! :Look well at the sun, the jagged Blackness will consume all, Your little star forever but a ever fading memory.

Roses are red, violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's cheese on toast

how do you kill chuck norris? you dont, killing is illegal

Once, there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end

What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back at her

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get hit by a car and die.

So two Penn State administrators walk into a butt.

what did the McDonald's cashier say to the fat man ordering a large chocolate milkshake? you want some fries with that shake?

Q: What Did Batman Say To Robin Before He Got In The Car? A: Get In The Car

why was the asian kid the only one to get an A+ in the test? He spent the longest time studying and was therefore better prepared than the other students.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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