Ding Dong! Who's the - - - wait - - - I don't have a doorbell.

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A black man walks into a bar and he orders a margarita. The bartender says that the margaritas are exceptionally delicious in this bar. He was right.

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Why did the young Mexican apply for a job at McDonalds? The economy is down and his family could use the extra money.

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What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

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How do you ask a blonde out to dinner? Politely

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what did the man with Alzheimer's say to his son? who are you!?

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Q: How do you make Osama Bin Ladin happy? A: Take him out to a nice seafood dinner free of charge.

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An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman come across a magic slide. They each decide to take a turn. The Irishman goes first, sliding down and shouting "GOLD!", and finding himself in a pile of gold as he reaches the bottom. The Englishman slides down screaming "SILVER!", and lands in a heap of silver at the bottom. The Scotsman takes his turn, and shouts "WEEEE!" as he slides down. He gets up and realises what a needless waste of a wish his enjoyment cost him.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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"If life was fair, I would have a girlfriend" - William Deane

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How did 6-year old dyslexic boy start his essay on soap? Sopa is shit...

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Why did the man drop one dozen long stem roses? Because he was hit by a taxi cab

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How I seem math word problems Scenario: 2 astronauts kayaking in the Sahara desert Question: How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse Answer: Purple, because ice cream has no bones

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Why a frog can fly? It has magic. Why a snake can fly? It ate the magic frog. Why a eagle can fly? It has wings.

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Women, "Did just pinch my ass!?" Man, "Yes." Women, "Oh, alright then."

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How do you find out the population of Mexico? The census.

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A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks, "Why the long face?" The horse, being a horse and thus unable to speak or comprehend the complexities of conversation, does not reply and shits on the floor.

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What is worse than being paralyzed from the neck down Nothing

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What smells like smoke, sounds like a pig, and looks like a horse? My mom's boyfriend

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penis

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Why did the fat guy smell bad? He just farted diarrhea.

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What do you call two lesbians in a canoe? Women.

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How do you teach another person's son to ride a bike? You don't. Let his real parents teach him to ride a bike.

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Why couldn't the boy watch the DVD about pirates? Because his mother did not understand the importance of putting the disc back in it's case after use, and as a result, has become too damaged for the DVD Player to play.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops