How do you make a snake blink? You can't

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Why didn't the boy blow out his birthday cake this year? He died last year.

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What did the pirate order for breakfast? Pancakes.

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Bob: "Did you eat my sandwich?" Alex: "I am your sandwich."

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What did the little girl with cancer get for Christmas? Nothing, she didn't make it that far

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What's worst than the holocaust? Coming home and having your parents say " we received an email from your teacher today"

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whats worse than a dog biting you? two dogs biting you whats worse than that? the Holocaust whats worse than that three dog bites and one of them happens to have rabies

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Knock Knock. (No answer) Knocker: " I guess the resident of this home isn't home at this hour."

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How did the chicken perform the bank robbery? It was crossing the road and cluelessly walked into a bank, and EVERYONE in that bank had Chickenphobia so they just GAVE him the money...

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There was a brunette, a blonde and a red head, They were all great friends!

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why couldnt helen keller drive she was a woman

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Q: Whats red and bad for your teeth? A: a brick

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Son : daddy ,I got punished in school today. Dad :why? Son: My teacher pointed the scale towards me saying -"At the end of this scale there is an idiot"..... I just asked "WHICH END ?.

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Rachel: Wanna hear a conundrum? Robby: Sure! Racheal: Vampire Value card.

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Dave: Hi John! John: I have Aids.

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Ask me if I'mm a candy cane. Shutup, there are a lot of these types of jokes. Create your own you poophead.

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when debbie meets downer

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You're momma is so dumb, she has troubles passing her math unit and should seriously consider a math touter

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A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You think this will rhyme But it's not gonna

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This poem doesnt rhyme And your entire family died trying to fly to your house for Christmas. They crashed into a orpanage for death children. There were no survivors.

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"Lets begin, tell me about yourself," "ok, well first I'm a open book and..." "ok next" "why?" "I fucking hate books!"

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What did the man say to the woman giving him a blowjob? That feels good.

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yo momma so fat, it appears she has two chins

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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